Custody Ping Pong

Centralised PFI custody centres (police cells to the uninitiated) seemed like a great idea at the time. Modern, fresh, large open spaces and every modern convenience you can imagine. Before they came along, every station had 5 or 6 cells in the basement and a custody sergeant. Get a local prisoner, go to the local nick. Worse case scenario you had to drive 4 or 5 miles to the next one if it happened to be full.

Then, 4 years ago, they all shut. In place of 30 local cell blocks, they opened 6 'custody centres'. Each is about 35-40 miles from the next, but have capacity of approximately 35 cells a piece. Some prisoners can be doubled-up, so you can squeeze in possibly 50 prisoners at a time. This wastes immeasurable amounts of officer time traveling with their prisoners, then waiting in holding cells while the 1 custody sergeant books in 5 others from around the local area. But never before was so much time wasted as last night...

I arrested a bloke for ABH at 2227, but because of his injuries he had to go to hospital. After an hours wait in the local A&E, he was treated and put 'on-watch' for 3 hours. Because he was a prisoner, I had to wait with him to make sure he didn't do a runner. Eventually they discharge him, and behold! My nearest custody centre is beyond full. "There is space at the next nearest one" the radio says helpfully. So we get in the van and begin the painful trip in the pissing rain. 35 miles later we arrive only to be told "Sorry chum, we're full now".

After some muted abuse to the sergeant, I ask him to suggest where he'd like us to go. "Abbots Wood has room!", he suggests. "Sarge. That's 90 miles away from here, and 120 miles away from my station!" I protest. But he's not concerned. He is full, and that is that.

I go and confer with my colleagues in the van. I ask comms to phone around and see if I can be squeezed anywhere slightly closer. A few minutes later, they say "Home station has room now, they will accept". So we trundle back the 35 miles we've just driven, to be back to where we started.

It was 5am at that point, and I lost the will to live. But, it's progress, right?